I love searching through out-of-print books and finding those that have aged particularly poorly. Here are my recent favorites. I found all of them on out-of-print booksellers’ sites.

 

The description of the book reassures readers that all experiments are perfectly “safe.” But really?

 

 

 

 

 

This is supposed to be a kids’ version of Adam and Eve. I know the image is blurry, but if you look closely, they are naked. What could possibly go wrong with putting nude cartoon kids on a book cover? And since when did Adam and Eve have a Dalmatian?

 

 

 

 

Instructions for children’s crafts to totally freak out ginger kids.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is no good way to explain to the kid reading this book what’s going to happen to that bird.

 

 

 

 

 

Subtitle: How to mess with a poor old lady who, until she met you, didn’t think she was losing her marbles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah, something seems terribly wrong here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why are we taking our pants off again? Don’t get me wrong, I hate pants, but a book on how to take them off seems unnecessary.

 

 

 

 

Do not get in the van, Matthew!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do all kids love? Homunculi. Full disclosure: I kind of want to read this one.

 

 

 

 

 

This is 100% what happens when Mom reads Twilight.  Also, given that the kid seems to be wearing a dragon suit, I’m not sure why Wayne is the weird one.

 

 

 

 

 

I prefer to leave this one with no comment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dad is the world’s best driver. Seatbelts and car seats are for losers.

 

 

 

 

 

Easy steps for cooking your kid and making him into a taco.  Billy hasn’t seen his brother for a while…